Title: Jealousy
Group/pairing: Matsumiya (Matsumoto Jun x Ninomiya Kazunari)
Prompt: #06: Jealous
Word Count: 1,574
Rating: G
Summary: Jun is jealous of Nino in a lot of things, but he decides that it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone in JE.
Notes: Hope you enjoy!

Blink.

Jun looks around in awe, wondering how he got on this luxurious cruise ship. Staring at the awkwardly shy face of Aiba, the boy knows this group has a long way to go. He wonders if he’ll ever be a sempai which everyone will look up to; Jun giggles at the thought of being the next Kimura Takuya. He quickly kicks himself mentally, telling himself to snap back to reality. Jun casts an uneasy glance at Ninomiya, who’s playing his gameboy in the corner of the room. The other boy looks up uninterestedly, nearly dead eyes glaring back.

Jun shivers and averts his eyes. That’s right. They’ve still got a long way to go.

Blink.

In the back stage of their concert, three members are relaxing after a long series of performances. Jun lets his form sink into the warm couch offered, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. Exhaustion coats his muscles, and pain creeps into his bones slowly but surely. He rubs at his shoulder, massaging out a small knot.

Even as he’s cherishing the small moments of peace and relaxation, Jun is still amazed that two of their members still have the energy to run, much less act idiotic on stage. He can hear the audience’s laughter from the concert venue, and he knows that they’re trying their best to liven up the mood. Looking at the small television screen, Jun shakes his head in amusement as he watches Ohno carry Nino in his arms, bridal-style. He rolls his eyes when the gamer touches the other man’s sensitive spot.

He knows that the two are close, possibly closer than any of the other members. But still, he can not understand the skinship between them. Jun submits to another sigh, shaking away any thoughts of jealousy.

Stretching, he stands up and makes his way to the stage once more.

Blink.

It was a rare thing to be bored these days. Jun lets his eyes roam over each member in the green room, watching them lost in their own thoughts. He looks into the mirror, examining his face closer than ever before. Frowning, he can see the shadows of wrinkles near his eyes. Several blemishes cover his skin, and he knows that he has the worst complexion out of the group. Even so, he has the most memorable and stunning features.

Jun glares at the small pimple adoring his forehead and tries to cover it up with his newly cut bangs.  His looks have changed. From the awkward cute teenager, he’s flourished into one of the most handsome men in the country. Of course Jun will never admit it to himself; he acknowledges the fact that there are better people, more fit for the word “handsome.” Leaving one last scowl at the pimple, Jun looks over at Nino next to him.

With smooth complexion and stunning smiles, Jun thinks Nino is more handsome than he is. Crafty eyes, a pointed nose, and decorative moles make the magician much more worthy of the adjective. But even so, the gamer still looks the same as when they’d debuted. Jun allows the silhouettes of jealousy enter his heart, because he knows there is no point in resisting.

However, when Nino looks at him, Jun can see the remains of pain and regret in his sharp eyes. Fragments of hurt flicker across the man’s pupils before disappearing into a masked grin.

“Something wrong?” Nino asks, a smile which is sure to be slightly fake lifting the edges of his curved lips. Jun frowns minutely, and then shakes his head. He is lying, and he knows Nino knows he’s lying. He gets up out of his chair, disliking the feel of Nino’s understanding gaze on his back.

Maybe there is no need to be jealous, Jun thinks.

Blink.

Tears of frustration prick the edges of his eyes. Jun fists his hands tightly, not wanting the droplets of water to fall. But like everything else, they don’t listen to him and trail down his cheeks. He pounds his fists on the rough concrete, ignoring the ripping sting through the sides of his palms.

He manages to let a small scream erupt from his mouth before closing himself into silence. For the first time in what feels like forever, Jun curls himself up into a ball and sits in the corner of the dark room. Out of self mockery and lack of comfort, he rocks himself back and forth like a child. He knows that no one will come for him; he doesn’t really want anyone to, either. He closes his eyes, wondering if he will disappear into nothing if he continues to sit there.

The skin on his face begins to tighten with the salt from his tears. Discomfort beings to settle on his outer being, as if the inner pain isn’t enough. Exhaustion that isn’t the usual grasps his heart, and Jun resists the urge to choke on nothing. The oxygen is not what he needs, for he feels as if he is suffocating. A feeling of loneliness falls like a curtain call, chilling and warming him simultaneously.

Jun knows and hates the fact that even though he sits still, time is swirling around him faster and faster. He is losing in the race against time, and the willpower to struggle for a victory is nonexistent. As he continues to cry, Jun can almost feel the growing wrinkles and weakening bones. He wants his youth, his innocence, and his time back. It is useless to want, he knows. The hunger for the past will only hurt him more, but that can not stop the painful thoughts.

Suddenly, there is a warmth of another body next to his. A hand rests on his shoulder, and a small, encouraging smile glows at him. Jun does not need to look up to know who it is. The silent breathing and understanding is enough.

“Let’s go,” Nino whispers comfortingly. Jun doesn’t budge, only wrapping his arms tighter around his knees. He doesn’t care if he’s being selfish; he knows Nino will understand.

And he does.

Nino sits down next to him and waits patiently for Jun to look up at him. Hours pass without a movement, except for the sigh of Jun’s body relaxing into Nino’s. Nino waits. Jun waits. Nino waits for Jun to be ready to move towards tomorrow. Jun waits for the past to come, even though it will not.

Just before he falls asleep, Jun wonders why he can’t be as strong as Nino and feels the familiar pangs of jealousy eat away at his stomach. He is not mad, however, and thinks that the jealousy will only help to make himself stronger.

Blink.

She has no right, Jun screams in his mind. Who let her stomp all over Nino’s heart and leave him shattered? Jun has half of a mind to stomp to her house and rip all of her hair out. He shakes his head; the anger will not get him anywhere. But when he sees the annoyingly fake and obviously shaky smile on Nino’s face, he can not get rid of the burning feeling in his chest.

He will not say anything, for he knows that Nino doesn’t want him to. Words aren’t enough to heal him, and there is the possibility that he doesn’t want to be healed. Jun knows that Nino wants to get out of this himself, so he leaves the man be. He watches helplessly as the gamer lays his head in Aiba’s quiet embrace, wanting to be the tall, lanky man for once in his life. It is no time for jealousy, but Jun believes that Nino feels the same burn he does right now. The feeling is uncomfortable and full of hatred, but it continues to remain for the rest of the week.

One day, Jun sees her walking on the street with her alleged new “catch”. Without a second thought, he makes his way toward her and her boyfriend. He sticks out his leg jerkily in front of her, making her trip clumsily and ungracefully. Jun nearly runs away, stopping only until he passes the corner of a shop. Turning around, he can hear her wailing about her broken heel from where he stands. He snickers evilly, thinking that she was nowhere near good enough for Nino. He chastises himself, knowing he is in no position to be deciding who Nino should love.

Apparently, the evil prank is not enough to get rid of the jealousy.

Blink.

Jun can’t find the need or want of power to force words out of his mouth. Before he can, Nino pushes him against the wall and captures his lips in a light kiss.

As fast as the kiss happens, it disappears. Jun watches Nino walk away, most likely embarrassed. He is jealous that he did not have the power to make the first move. The tingle of Nino’s lips on his still exists, and it is enough to make Jun’s knees go weak. Jealousy is only a syndrome of love, Jun decides.

Jun is jealous of Nino for a lot of things.

He smiles and pushes himself off the wall slowly. He must love the gamer a lot then. Happiness bubbles up in his chest, the clichéd butterflies flying in his stomach. Walking the way Nino did, Jun ignores the small skip in his step.

Jealousy is not a bad thing.

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